Can’t decide today’s mood.
I am happy and sad at the same time.
Anyway, today is my best friend’s birthday, she decided to move to heaven in 2011. Leaving me alone, here. She would have been a beautiful woman, inside out. If you are reading this, please include her in your today’s prayers and wish her happy birthday.
Here is a post for everyone, who has lost a loved one.
You will be living a perfect life,
Then all of sudden, you want them to be there with you.
Share your moments with them.
So, one moment you are ecstatic,
And next moment you can barely breathe!
You feel like your airway is getting blocked,
Your heart is burning,
You feel everything in your body closing up.
No matter how long it has been,
The pain stays fresh,
Playing hide and seek with your heart.
Sometimes it’s there, but hidden,
Sometimes it comes to you with full force!
You try to focus on the breathing,
because that’s what you are supposed to do
But, while focusing on the breathing,
you are still thinking about them.
Making everything even more difficult
than it earlier was.
Then you just stop.
Stop focusing on your breathing,
Stop thinking about them,
Like a plug pulled out of the socket.
You just stop!
And wait for the moment to pass away,
Wait for your heart to beat normally,
Wait for yourself to feel alive, again.
And when everything comes under control,
You continue with your daily tasks.
Till you encounter another such moment,
Or another one of your special days.
Or any random day when your mind wants to play tricks.
You go through the pictures,
Laugh a little,
Shed a tear or more.
Read their letters
Or just roll up in a blanket.
You take a timeout
And that’s a good thing
Sometimes you just need their hugs
Or their assurances
So you look up to the sky
Hoping they could see you
Give you some sort of sign.
You make yourself believe
that the twinkling star is them.
You do whatever you could to make it better.
To make yourself feel better.
Because that will make them feel better.
And you don’t want them to be sad just because you are,
You want to stay strong for them,
Because they are alone, up there.
Completely on their own
And you want the best for them.
So you look at the twinkling star, again
whisper I love you,
blow a kiss,
wipe your tears
and continue living your life
as if nothing is bothering you.
As if nothing is missing
As if there is no void
As if they are here
So, all my people out there, you are not alone, we are not alone.
If you want to read more about her, here is the link.
Also, those of you who ask me to tell you more about her, I am trying. Just be patient with me, every time I sit down thinking today I will talk about her, I just can’t. So that’s what it is.
She was a wonderful person, the cool person you wanna hang out with type. Someday, I will tell you more about her.
Till then, bie!